Families need help. But before one can help them effectively, we need to first look at our own families before we can effectively help others.
How is your family life?
Jesus said these words in Matthew 7:3-5:
Mat 7:3 “Why do you see the speck in your brother’s eye but fail to notice the beam in your own eye?
Mat 7:4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when the beam is in your own eye?
Mat 7:5 You hypocrite! First remove the beam from your own eye, and then you will see clearly enough to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
If we want to use this command to work among families in our churches, a church leader must first look at his or her family life.
Problems at home can destroy a Leader’s work
The family life of a church leader is very important. Many leaders suffer from problems at home. It is not easy for a church leader to advise an unhappy family and a young couple when his own family life is not happy. Failure to solve his own problems renders him powerless to effectively advise others. The leader needs to first learn how to lead his own family, otherwise he cannot be a good example and his family problems will break his heart.
On a positive note, if a leader is a good husband and father, he can be an inspiration to his church. God can heal unhappy families. That is good news. Everyone needs to understand that family life is very important. That includes mine and yours.
Your family life comes before your work
Any church leader needs to understand that we are first of all children of God. Secondly, we are fathers or mothers. Thirdly, we are pastors or whatever profession we are in. This order ensures a balanced and disciplined life. The qualification of a church leader is clearly stated in 1 Timothy 3:2, 4-5:
1Ti 3:2 Therefore, an elder must be blameless, the husband of one wife, stable, sensible, respectable, hospitable to strangers, and teachable.
1Ti 3:4 He must manage his own family well and have children who are submissive and respectful in every way.
1Ti 3:5 For if a man does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?
The Lord in His wisdom knows that if a church leader’s home is poorly managed, it will be a heavy burden on him. He cannot be effective on his work. Before a church leader is ordained, there has to be an examination of his qualification with regards to God’s standards. His church and the kingdom of God can be severely damaged if the church leader is not faithful to his or her spouse and does not correctly lead his or her children.
People need good examples
What can a leader do to touch lives? A church leader can influence others in two ways. The root of a leader’s power is the way he lives what he teaches according to 1 Timothy 4:16, which says, “Pay close attention to your life and your teaching. Persevere in these things, because if you do so, you will save both yourself and those who listen to you.”
What will make people better respond to what we preach is for our own words to agree with our lives. The way we conduct our lives should be living sermons. Good examples make others to obey Christ more.
According to the Scriptures, people grow and learn by hearing the Word, seeing someone live it, then choosing to obey the Word, and finally gaining personal experience. We have the following scriptures as support to what has just been said.
“Likewise, keep practicing these things: what you have learned, received, heard, and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with you.”(Philippians 4:9).
1 Peter 5:2-3:
1Pe 5:2 Be shepherds of God’s flock that is among you, watching over it, not because you must but because you want to, and not greedily but eagerly, as God desires.
1Pe 5:3 Do not lord it over the people entrusted to you, but be examples to the flock.
In conclusion, there are many Christians who came to the Lord and their marriages and families were saved through good examples of godly living by their church leaders than just their words. It is important to study and learn more about godly family life since church ministry depends on it. After learning, let us first apply it to our own homes. Then we can effectively teach the people of God through words and by example.