Welcome to the third part of “Family Conflicts.” We earlier discussed the meaning of conflict. We then went a step further to reveal some causes of conflict and how they can be avoided. Today I want us to look at the choices you have at your disposal in dealing with conflicts.
Conflicts happen naturally. Most of the time conflicts are a symptom of something else. Therefore it is important for a couple to cultivate a habit of controlling and harnessing conflicts for the good of the family.
“That you put off concerning the former conduct the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;
And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;
And that you put on the new man, which after the manner of God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
Therefore putting away lying, let everyone speak truth with his neighbor: for we are members of one another.
Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your anger:
Neither give place to the devil.
Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labor, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have something to give to him that is needy.
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace to the hearers.
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by which you are sealed for the day of redemption.
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.”(Ephesians 4:22-32).
Now, let us look at some ways of dealing with conflict:
1) Yield style
In this case, there is a giving in so as to get along smoothly. One just chooses to follow the partner’s choice to avoid the risk of confrontation. You decide to fully support the other’s choice.
2) Withdraw style
One party here simply withdraws physically from the conflict by moving away from the scene of confrontation. However, if such is an end in itself, it has the lowest value. But if such withdrawal is meant for cooling off a bit, then it is right.
3) Resolve style
There is co-operation from both parties here until the conflict is resolved amicably.
4) Compromise style
You drop some of your demands or ideas in order to allow the other to give a little. Both of you share the win.
5) Win style
In a family, personal relationships are just as important as or even more important than a goal. At times there will be a sacrifice of a goal to win a relationship. Achieving a goal at times may mean sacrificing the relationship.
Let me conclude by stating that it is important to use a style or combination of styles that will promote loving marriage and family. Love must rule. That is what God desires for you. Grow in your love relationship. If it calls for one to sacrifice because of love and that would really be great. So love your spouse wholeheartedly.
Be blessed in Jesus Name. Enjoy your day!